Parenting Tips: Do’s and Don’ts from a Counselor for Gifted Kids
As a child therapist and parent, I see how difficult daily life can be for parents of gifted children. Many parents find themselves searching online for answers—and that’s completely okay. Parenting a gifted child comes with unique challenges, and support can make a big difference.
DO: Provide intellectual challenges at home.
Many gifted children learn to underperform at school. They often try to match the pace or ability level of their classmates. Over time, this can lead to boredom and disengagement.
According to SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted), a lack of challenge may contribute to test anxiety, perfectionism, and fear of failure. When children are not stretched intellectually, they may begin to doubt their abilities.
You can help by creating opportunities for challenge at home. Offer activities that require problem-solving, creativity, and persistence. Let your child struggle a bit. Frustration can be a positive sign—it often means they are being challenged in a healthy way.
DON’T: Lose your role as the parent.
It can be tempting to give gifted children more control over their decisions. After all, they often seem mature and capable. However, too much autonomy can backfire.
When parents step back too far, children may feel overwhelmed. SENG notes that this can even weaken a child’s confidence in adults. Gifted children still need guidance, structure, and clear boundaries.
It’s important to listen to your child’s interests and preferences. But as the parent, you should make the final decisions. This balance helps maintain a healthy parent-child relationship and gives your child a sense of security.
DO: Be an example for your children on prioritizing and scheduling.
According to SENG, gifted children may “discover early that they have many interests and can get more done—wear more hats—than most other people.” This can lead to them getting over-involved, especially if you don’t limit your child’s activities, and they may not be able to keep their stress at a manageable level. One of the best pieces of advice we can give for parents of gifted children is to show them what a balanced schedule looks like. Show them how to include all of their goals within their daily/weekly schedule and help them distinguish their goals from the goals of others.
DON’T: Focus solely on your child’s strengths and weaknesses.
When you are parenting a gifted child, it’s important to not only push them toward choosing activities based on their individual strengths and weaknesses but toward activities that will help them pursue their highest interests. It is important to help them recognize activities that will strengthen the skills any “normally functioning adult citizen” will use on a daily basis. Also, keep in mind that gifted children typically learn at a significantly faster rate than other children, so they should be taught in accordance with “their own readiness level and pace.”
Child therapists are trained professionals that help children understand what is going on in their minds and bodies in a stress-free way. When it comes to securing counseling for your child, making sure your little one’s thoughts and feelings are in the hands of a trained child counselor will allow your child to navigate their feelings in a positive way.
About Audacious Therapy | Counseling for Gifted Kids in Denver, Colorado
Claire Elisassen, MA LPC has been practicing since 2012 and has worked with children professionally for over 15 years. She loves using play therapy as a way to speak the child’s language and get to the root of their specific troubles. Personally, she loves to spend time with her family and friends, gardening, reading, laughing, being outside, as well as doing creative things like making her own pickles and sewing.
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